don't have...

that much time to post right now. i'm in a hong kong starbux style coffee joint. the drinks are good but expensive (about 50 cents more than in the U.S.). at least there's free internet and wi-fi...

china is NOT the place for internet cafes though. of course, i was in the middle of nowhere for the past 10 days ;) wow. seeing where mom was raised and even her old house was pretty astonishing. when we went to the village, there were people who even remembered her after 60 years!

the college reunion was such a great homecoming for her. i think about 25 people attended this year...and only three were women. we ate in the hotel every morning for dim sum and had dinner at a seafood restaurant next door or at a funky hole in the wall open air restaurant about a mile away, which specialized in rice hot pots. i guess goose and eel are the main meats if you've had enough chicken and fish...

yesterday, my sister and i came to hong kong for the last three days of the trip, while our mom and her friend are staying back in taishan for a couple more days before going to beijing.

argh. i gotta go. there's a fifteen minute limit while others are waiting. i guess i shouldn't have gone through and deleted the 150 new emails i've gotten in the past couple weeks.

before i go, here's a pic of the skyline outside of the coffee place.

just...

four more days. we've been busily gathering things together and readying our documents for our trip to china. did you know a simple travel visa into china is now $110?!? up until august 1st, it was a mere $60. i think the price was nearly doubled for next summer's olympics. prior to the change, you had a thirty day limit w/ a ninety day window to use it. and you could only enter once. with the jacked up price, you now have six months (from the day it was issued) to use it...still w/ a thirty day limit but w/ multiple entry (only if you apply for multiple).

it is so convoluted

when we applied a couple weeks ago, a slight problem nearly sidetracked our trip. upon finding out that my mom was born and raised in china, the consulate immediately wanted mom to submit her chinese passport (so they could cancel it). thing is, when mom came over in 1948, she didn't need a passport to get into the united states. her entry was assured by my father, who was a u.s. citizen. when they got married in china, he brought her back...case closed.

so when we found out that her required, yet non-existent, chinese passport was an issue...we scrambled to find an alternative. apparently, for those passportless chinese immigrants of the late 40's, naturalization papers are the way to go. we ended up faxing her u.s. citizenship and chinese marriage license to the consulate, thereby soothing their suspicious concerns. now they can be rest assured that my mom has NO intentions of visiting china and spending her twilight years there. geez.

crappy...

mood. i really don't feel like working today so maybe if i blog it'll improve my attitude...it can't hurt.

i see that i promised to blog about mike. hmmm. mike is a pima indian who has worked with me in field before. he's not classically trained but he has a good eye for detail and is always willing to help. he's about 6' tall, 200 lbs., has long, jet black hair (although some of it is graying), and likes his beer.

we have an inside joke regarding someone's keys. many years ago, we worked at a site that was not far from his friend's house. well, we were lucky enough for the guy to let us stay at his home while we were in field. it was downright palatial. a two-story mountain home with a wraparound porch, a great view of boulder, a sauna, and a 5-foot deep hot tub. man, it was heaven.

for the six weeks of the survey, i was keeper of the keys. just two dirty brass keys on a plastic green key chain. it was a welcome convenience because we wouldn't get up to his house until after he had left for work.

after a long hot (or rainy) day in field, we'd come home and kick back w/ some beer and work on some notes or just watch the day turn into night. that is, if we hadn't stopped in town for some pizza and beer ;) it was during this survey that i had gotten to know mike better. we had already known each other for about six or seven years, but only in a social (i.e., beer swilling) setting. sometimes after the other guys were asleep, we'd hang out in the living room, listening to music and just talking. he kinda reminded me of my older brother, sandy.

well, after the survey ended, i still had the keys in my possession. i think we were all supposed to go to dinner up in boulder but i had other work commitments...so i remained the holder of the keys. and since the guy lived up in the mountains, we never saw each other to coordinate the key return (yeah...that's a cop out but he seemed okay with it ;). i guess we both knew that if i wanted a soak in that killer hot tub w/ the awesome view, at least i didn't have to break in...

anyway, it was mike who was the "go-between" to return the keys. after all, it was his friend who owned the house and they hung out regularly. so the few times a year i'd see mike, he'd ask me if i had brought the keys. at first, it was a sincere, "damn, i forgot 'em." after a few times though, it became a running joke between us and ended up being, "keys?!? what keys?"

unfortunately, the running joke about the keys has run its course. last week, i got a very unexpected email from one of our mutual friends, saying that mike had died and that his memorial was in three days. i was more than stunned. although i had seen mike in the spring, i had no idea that he was sick. i was expecting to see him for some wings and beer in the fall...

this video is for mike. i hope every day is like saturday in the park for him. i heard that he suffered the last couple months and i just hope his last six words weren't, "Spencer, where are those DAMN keys?!?"

btw, we have a connection to this video. although it was made in the early 70's, mike and i ended up mapping the structure and property where the video is taking place...but 25 years later :)

China...

remember when i was talking about wanting to go to china? well, in 20 days, that is what i'll be doing!!! my eldest sister, shirley, and i are accompanying our mom back to guangzhou for her 60th(!) high school reunion! unfortunately, we'll only be able to go for a couple weeks while mom is going to stay for another ten days. so we've got to make the most of the roughly ten days we have with her (since the reunion is a three-day affair).

it'll be an eye opener for all of us; we've never been and mom hasn't been back since january 1948 although she, dad, and shirley went to hong kong in 1961. open the below map and look for taishan in the bottom left hand corner, guangzhou near the top left, and hong kong near the bottom right corner. this is the area from which my parents came. my father was born and raised in a tai shan village while mom is from guangzhou (although she didn't go to school there) and hong kong will be our starting point. i have so much research to do...but that's a good thing ;)



from what my mom tells me, of the 140 or so in her graduating class, fewer than 30 are still alive. this is gonna be one emotional gathering...

gotta cram...

one more post for september...a month that has been just plain wacky. i know you're dying for an update, right. if you must really know...

lois and i are doing much better. i abandoned my cane a couple weeks ago and although walking is slow going, at least i can go about business as usual. in fact, we're just to go out to a breakfast buffet...which wasn't possible three or four weeks ago ;)

i know it's a short post but i'm so hungreeee and i think the breakfast portion ends at 11:00, so more later...

here are three things that i'll post about (maybe even today):

China
Mike
Drive-Ins

while you're waiting though, go get a free rental movie at yer local McD's w/ some of these redboxx codes! it may be a couple of flicks before i get back to ya ;)

btw, happy birthday and anniversaries to a couple of loyal readers...they know who they are!!!

happy...

friday. and happy birthday to my eldest brother, Stan, who lives in upstate new york. he's 59 today...wow. i can't believe it. also, my good friend, Barb, is turning 66 today. she's a retired english teacher who has been raising and showing horses for more than 50 years. you wouldn't believe the number of trophies and ribbons that lady has in her house...some of them are national champion awards, mostly half arabian horses.

i'm so glad it's friday. i had a dream on tuesday that somehow made me think it was already friday, so i guess i've had four tuesdays this week ;)

i know the autumnal equinox is tomorrow...i'm ready for fall but this late summer weather can stick around for another couple of months. i heard on tv that oldtimers (i.e., those who live in the mountains and are part farmers almanac) are saying that the changes occurring up in the high country are coming a month early and indicative of a harsh winter.

gre-eat...guess i'd better get the snow shoveling muscles ready. i just hope we have an unforgettable fall ;)

this is...

shane. she dug w/ me in nevada...fifteen(!) years ago. i had been searching myspace for some past co-workers in field. she's a special ed teacher in pennsylvania now. isn't she cute? while i'm not the biggest fan of myspace as a blog, it is useful in re-establishing contact w/ past friends/acquaintances.

stolen memes...

this one from cb...

1. Best friend in elementary school?
hmmm...i think i had a different one every year ;)

2. Best friend in junior high?
probably chris l.

3. In high school?
Robert N., who has dropped off the face of the earth...Armando C. and James S.

4. Where are they now?
chris lives in denver (haven't seen him in a couple years)...robert lives in california...armando lives in highlands ranch...and james is in tennessee

5. Memorable teachers?
Elementary school...Mr. Balistrere (5th grade) and Mrs. Adams (1st grade)
Junior high...Mrs. McNally (Spanish) and Mr. Toland (gym)
High school...Miss Arkin (English), Mr. Bisceglia (psych), and Miss Minnick (math)

6. Walk or ride the bus?
Walked to elementary and high...got a ride from junior high

7. After school activities?
none really...does hanging out at Figaro's Pizza count? killed that jukebox, played a lot of pool and Gauntlet

8. Hot lunch or brown bag it?
always hot lunch...i don't think i had a brown bag more than 5-6 times

9. Favorite school lunch?
almost anything...to this day, i still like cafeteria food...weird, huh?

10. Worst school lunch?
i don't recall.

11. Good at anything academic?
math, foreign languages, history...almost anything when i showed up ;)

12. Not so good?
i rarely got A's in music

holiday weekend...

so how was yours? not much fanfare for us. we did go to the Harkins 18 to see this movie. lois has always been a ludlum fan.

we liked the movie. matt ddamon has really hit the jackpot w/ this serial hasn't he? i wonder how much he's made from the trio of movies...

anyway, the movie's pacing was quite good, never drawn out or boring. tons of action...brutal fight scenes...wild car chases...and interesting angles (close-ups and aerial shots). i can see why it cost $138 million to make it. so far it has made a $27 million profit (in the U.S.). we'll see how much it'll make in rentals in a few months.

the harkins is still a very new theatre. we went to a few movies there last summer after it opened. although the parking lot is huge, it's not that convenient for those who have to walk w/ a cane. granted, if you can find spots right in front of the theatre, you're good to go. of course, that's a rarity and you're subjected to a 50-100 yard walk from the west end parking lot.

popcorn, although a wee bit salty (gotta make sure those moviegoers buy large drinks ;), was fresh and had the right crunch. the large is a pretty good deal. for $5.50, you do get one free refill. i guess it's good if 3-4 moviegoers get there kinda early. you can munch on it and get the refill right before the movie starts...

as many theatres (nowadays), the harkins 18 has stadium seating. usually, we try to ascend the 10-12 steps to get a seat in the middle rows, but we were happy to just walk up the ramp and sit in the handicap accessible row. sure, our legs are steadily improving but we tend to forget our temporary limitations...i'm constantly reminded every day how much we take mobility for granted. so it's a life saver to take advantage of the "easy way" when needed.

we still have yet to see a flick on the cine capri screen, which is supposed to be the largest movie screen in colorado. i'm not sure if it's larger than the IMAX screens at the colorado center and DMNS, but i do know that it's 50 cents more to see something on the capri screen. i still kinda find it hard to believe that most tix for a movie are in the $9-$9.50 range now. geez, i am ALL for 50-cent tuesdays and matinees...

one good thing about the harkins is the proximity of eateries on both sides of the theater. as you exit on the left, there's a subway, coldstone creamery, qdoba, and heidi's deli. on the right, is a jambajuice and *$$. what more could you ask for ;) btw, we went to jamba and shared a small peach pleasure. how does one drink the 32 oz. power sized one anyway? talk about brain freeze hell...

she reeks...

it's a really slow time right now at work so i may as well abuse my free time and blog, eh?

the "fragrant" lady in question is someone who stops by the office to drop off a check every month. very nice but REEKS of cigarette smoke. i'm kinda anti-smoke but (i'm) not mean about it...if you wanna smoke, that's cool. i just have a problem w/ the lingering odor of the people who smoke so much that they constantly smell like a massive ashtray. man, it just makes me picture the state of their lungs. wow.

thank god it's only once a month ;)

oh really?

62% Geek

looks like i'm 5% less of a geek than J...guess that's a good thing ;) one thing though, J, how do i become a card carrying geek? i MUST know!!! is there some kind of exercise i can do to bolster my geekery? TELL ME!

humph

lois is already asleep. although she has been able to put weight on the knee for much of the three weeks following the surgery, it still takes a lot out of her. she'll take a shower...and'll have to lie down. she does some laundry...and has to lie down. she goes out and waters the flowers in front of the house...and has to (you get the picture). luckily, she has changed her mind about being back at work and decided to take the next couple weeks off on disability.

i don't blame her. although my leg break wasn't pretty, i wasn't back at work for nearly four weeks after the surgery. she, meanwhile, troops on back to work a mere eleven days after getting her left knee replaced.

however, i was able to endure the first week with just a smatter of discomfort. she, on the other hand, nearly succumbed to excruciating pain the entire time during the past two weeks. i'm just leery about pushing it. after all, i'd never broken a bone in my life and wasn't about to rush into anything.

you'll be happy to know that i spent a couple hours today on both feet, without any crutches. after nearly ten weeks of varying degrees of immobility, my left leg feels about 85% normal. sure, it's still a noticeable hobble, but i'm gaining more and more confidence (and hopefully strength) with each passing day. this whole ordeal has been such a patience building exercise...that i NEVER want to repeat ;) WATCH OUT WORLD! NO MORE GOOSESTEPPIN' FOR ME!!!

as gene wilder...

would say:



i know i've been shitty about posting for nearly four weeks now. you know how you just get into those "I really don't feel like saying anything" funks...they hit me a few times a year. i always have something to say but not wanting to share it.

many things have transpired since my last post.

1) the leg is rapidly improving. i saw the surgeon on the 9th and he was quite satisfied w/ my progress. he told me that i could start putting more weight on the leg and eventually wean myself off the crutches. this week, i have finally started using just one crutch and actually put on BOTH shoes ;) it's a little scary because i get these crazy ideas in my head about falling down and messing it up even worse than the first time, but it's feeling good!

2) lois did get her left knee replaced on the 2nd and was in the hospital for four nights. initially, she was supposed to just be there for three but she developed complications...such as three blod clots in her lungs. yeah, not good. luckily, she had a nurse that was on top of things and had them diagnosed and treated quickly.



3) annie, our (nearly) 15 year-old silky terrier, had to be put down one day before lois was to be discharged. THAT was really tragic. poor thing. annie had already endured cataract surgery on both eyes in february...kidney problems in may...and during the last week of her life, she battled kidney and congestive heart failure. susie and i felt so bad that lois was away from her baby. we even slipped annie into her room to visit (what we thought would be) one last time on friday. it turned out that annie would see lois one more time on sunday, right before we took her to the vet's office, in a really serene garden area just off the physical therapy building at rose. lois spent about an hour holding, rocking, and talking to annie...sigh. we miss her terribly but are truly relieved that she's in a much better place now.

4) lois' sister, pauline, came up from texas to help us out w/ everything house-related for ten days. and was she a lifesaver! sure, we could have survived w/o her help, but it would have been a stress-filled and exhausting scene. people who are free of physical handicaps (temporary or permanent) never realize how lucky they have it. even though i have become quite of a daredevil in the transport chair, it's still a hassle to do many things in a non-handicap accessible house.

5) i've started a twice-weekly lunch w/ my mother. now that i'm getting around better, on tuesdays and thursdays after work, i pick her up and we head out somewhere, just so she can get out of the house during the week. sure, she's still perfectly able to drive and shop, visit, etc. but i know she feels pretty lonely. this week, we've gone to denny's for a MEGA-slam breakfast and to super star asian for their wonderful green beans stir-fried w/ homemade bacon!!! i think next week we're aiming for phô and either wendy's or kfc ;)

6) one more thing, what does donnny osmondd and his band of brothers have against my sanity anyway? during the end of july, just about the time i started to avoid my blog, i got this damn song stuck inside my head. how it even crept in there, i have NO idea. so i'm gonna blame the ol' toothy clan for my non-blogging. i just hope that coffee, liquor, and gelato will bring me out of the dark and back to consciousness again...

if...

i lived in springfield, i'd look like this:

has anyone gone to see the movie yet? i think i'm gonna wait until the crowds die down and i'm a little more mobile ;) i could go for either of these drinks right now...especially a cherry squishee.

wha???

sexual promiscuity and threat of disease?!? yeah, THAT'S something to be known for... definitely one of my favorite cuisines though.

You're Thailand!

Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you, you have a long history of rising above adversity.  Recent adversity has led to questions about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage to attract a number of tourists and admirers.  And despite any setbacks, you can really cook a good meal whenever it's called for.  Good enough to make people cry.


Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

nuthin'...

else to do but random quizzes.

You're The Great Gatsby!

by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Having grown up in immense wealth and privilege, the world is truly at your doorstep. Instead of reveling in this life of luxury, however, you spend most of your time mooning over a failed romance. The object of your affection is all but
worthless--a frivolous liar--but it matters not to you. You can paint any image of the past you want and make it seem real. If you were a color of fishing boat light, you would be green.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

ri-ight. i WISH i would've grown up wealthy and privileged. nevertheless, compared to 90% of the rest of the world, i guess i did. oh well, at least it's a book i like ;)

similarities...

it's gonna cost him $52 million and six years...



and he no longer will make $96,000 a year...



my raspberry torte spoonbender, meanwhile, cost $2.79...



guess we all got what we deserved...

among the three, guess who's going to have the better weekend! i truly thought i was until i saw the nutritional values on it. oh well, it'll be worth the pain ;)

the wait...

is over but i don't think i'm ready yet. another weight has entered the picture though.

i've been back at work for a week now. and it hasn't been too bad. lois drives me up to the back door and even opens them for me...and the elevator is a cinch. however, getting in the office is kind of awkward since the door opens up to the left. it's a bit of a struggle to push the lever down and the door ajar while i'm jostling to gain position before it whacks my leg, wedges me into the jamb, or knocks me off the crutches.

talk about wide-eyed panic.

well, no more. as of today, i have been cleared to put some weight on the left leg. thing is, it kinda freaks me out. i've finally grown accustomed to the orthopedic boot (although i'm at wit's end), which is even comfortable now. just putting a little weight on it is strange, not because it has been 5 weeks...but because of the angle of the ankle. the way my leg is positioned in the boot makes for more of a goose step w/ a nutcracker flair. do you know what i mean? if i'm not careful, that added three pounds of momentum will send me RIGHT (or left?) into a wall.



guess it's better than two steps back...and it'll be awhile before i can jump to the left ;)

rebus...

time.

what phrase do you come up w/ when these are put together?

i think you get this. got a pretty cool postcard from three gals who are in the last week of a month-long trip to china and japan. originally, these twentysomethings were looking for fares when they contacted me. unfortunately, i couldn't find available seats for their travel dates, so they ended up buying through someone else. however, they purchased their china visas through us...kind of a consolation prize, i guess.

anyway, they heard about my leg predicament when one of them came to pick up the visas and passports. and wouldn't ya know it, they were nice enough to send me a postcard :) makes me want to go to china more than ever!

what...

a pleasant surprise! some terrific person (she knows who she is) sent me a get well card with this stuffed in it. awww...thanks! can't wait to use it :) meanwhile, make sure you all replace the word, music, with *$$ when you watch the video, 'k?

man...what crazy outfits! a fitting song though ;)

down...

to watch this movie. gotta love fred astaire and cyd charisse (maybe it's those long legs). besides, they sing 'that's entertainment' in it ;) after a day of shopping and eatin', this is just about our speed. god, was it hot today or what? i sure wish it would rain...the monsoonal flow is already a week late and it looks like it won't swoop down for another. btw, here's a cute number from the movie...fred astaire, nanette fabray, and jack buchanan are triplets who would like to off one another ;)

wish me...

luck. i'm actually going back to work today. it's kinda funny...the first three weeks of recuperation, i was going stark mad. the idleness was driving me bonkers. however, this past week was good...i was getting into lying around, puttering around in the transport chair, and goofing around in general.

and now i have to go back to this...such bliss...ugh. i wish my workspace looked this comfortable. i mean, check out that 70's stereo in the top left corner...bet i could dig out some old 8-tracks to play on that baby ;)

i hope...

you're not eating right now because i've finally downloaded some pics. don't say i didn't warn ya!

this is a pic taken a few days after the surgery. i love reading the sunday paper...but without the lower left leg adornment. so this is what it feels like to recuperate from a double break and totally detached ligaments. hmmm...where's my worst enemy? i've got some wishes!

got a visitor. sophie's only nice because i save scraps of meat off my plate to help fill her belly, which could double as a sausage casing. she's returning a favor; i spent a week w/ her on the loveseat when she first entered this home, all skinny and coughing. now i'm the pathetic one ;)

the area right beneath my kneecap to my toes is a technicolor bruise. this is the side of the ankle that had to have the ligaments reattached. the pain was pretty sharp for a couple days, but it has been a non-issue for a couple weeks now. next step is to remove the tape covering the stitches...ewww!

of course, this is the star of the show. you get a good idea of how long the plate is and its six screws. the pain has hovered between 2-3 for awhile. i'm just wondering when it's all gonna resemble a leg again so i can hassle everyone at the airport.


nothing like a side-by-side comparison! this is what the leg looks like after a long (and liberating) warm shower. i know i probably shouldn't have kept my leg down for so long but do you know how much dead skin came off? i had to scrub the sole three times...flake-o-rama!

kinda...

grouchy right now. went to get a haircut/lunch/groceries this afternoon. nothing bad happened, it was just being out for three hours and not elevating the leg much during that time.

glad to get the haircut though. had i waited another week, i would've woefully found out that my stylist was on a short vacation to visit w/ her daughter, who will have a week off from the naval base in monterey bay, CA. so it was good timing to go in today. as usual, she cut my hair short and tried to convince me to spike up my hair a bit w/ her pomade. yeah, everyone else thinks it's cute only because the 'do is not on THEIR heads...it only makes me look like skeezix.

had lunch at silver mine subs. we were armed w/ a BOGO lunch coupon. so for $8.83 (plus tip), we got a two medium subs, two bags o' chips, and two bladder bursting drinks. oh yeah, we shared a cripple creek and a dodge city. while silver mine doesn't have the best sammiches, a lunch for two for less than $11 is certainly a good deal. i should also mention that they are open 'til 3 AM AND deliver...subway don't do dat!

of course, the real excitement was to come at the store! now, what could be so exciting about grocery shopping, when many people would rather have their eyeballs plucked out... well, for one, i LOVE going to the grocery store. even in my state, hitting almost every aisle is nearly blissful for me. before CubFoods hightailed it out of colorado, i used to frequent one after midnight and wander their aisles aimlessly for a good hour; their stuff was just so different than our ho-hum kingsoopersafewayalbertson's.

really though, it wasn't the fact that i was going to the grocery store for the first time in a month. nope. the REAL reason for my unbridled excitement was to operate one of the terribly beat up electric shopping carts! you know, the ones that putter along at a snail's pace but back up at 50 mph! that makes for some super scary maneuvering, especially around the deli counter and the produce aisles...it's like bowling for shoppers. unfortunately, i wasn't able to unleash my 'driving' skills upon any massive pyramidal soup displays.

damn ;)

i did, though, almost take out a display of candy when i saw these. i know they're still readily available in many establishments...but it's like seeing something for the first time in many moons. it was fitting that the display was called 'remember when.' all the candy in there reminded me of my '70s childhood...boston beans, beemans gum, salt water taffy, lemonheads, chuckles, circus peanuts, black cows, bit o honey, and necco wafer candy (one of my faves...must be the anthrax-like substance dusted on the thin wafers).

have boot...

will travel.

well, the follow-up appointment on thursday was full of good news. the x-rays looked very promising...the plate is settling in perfectly and i'm out of the cast. unfortunately, they put me in an orthopedic boot similar to this one.

and is it heavy...

i've got another appointment with the surgeon this thursday so he can have a look at it; a physician assistant saw me for the first post-op. hopefully, the doc can give me a window regarding when i can go back to work. although it'd be nice to get six weeks off, i don't think i could stand it. i'm thinking that a month will just about have me in tears...i'm running out of things to do ;)

meanwhile, on this hot day, i'm blogging, reading the paper, watching tv, and finishing up this netflixx selection.



i so want some gelato...but not while the CC arts festival is going on. talk about mayhem. you know, it had been losing money the last 5-10 years. i wonder if it's going to make a profit this year. i kinda hope it dies...i think it has lost its luster and usefulness. fifteen years ago it was cool...now it's lame and needs to be shot.

time...

to get back to bed. although i was quite masochistic in sitting up for a few hours and visiting w/ friends earlier this week, my limit is still about 90 minutes before my lower back starts talking to me.

this afternoon, i'm going in for my post-op exam. i really hope it's all good news. every time i accidentally whacked the foot...and saw stars in 'nearby' andromeda...i'd play out worst case scenarios in my head. foolish but oh-so-real. anyway, i'll probably have an update after 4PM.

meanwhile, here's something i stole from a myspacefriend...it's kind of amusing:

These are the winning entries of the 2006 Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.

The 2006 winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying or building a house, rendering the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

de...

throned!

every 4th of july, i try to keep you all abreast of the 'world famous' hot dog eating contest held at Coney Island. and for the past six years, takeru kobayashi, THE human eatin' machine, has obliterated the competition. well, this year, a new champ has emerged. some skinny american guy, joey chestnut, outdistanced the king by three dogs.

the score? 66-63. yep, that's dogs and buns...in TWELVE minutes! mr. chestnut was cramming a hot dog down at a rate of one per 10.9 seconds! IN-sane!

is it me or does it look like they're really struggling to keep 'em down?

general...

fatigue. he's the six star (general) who oversees your goingoutofyermind crazedapeshit cabinfever whenyou're stuckinbed foreighteen hoursaday.

the last couple days, i've had visitors while lois was at work. on monday, my friend, barb, for whom i've played on various teams over the past ten years, came by to drop off some travel guidebooks from the library which she works. lessee here...we've got sumpin' from south america:



and two selections from asia:



it was really good to catch up w/ her :) she brought lunch from this place...a new chain of fast mediterranean/greek...and this sublime beverage, one of my favorite mexican beers. she even brought a get well card signed by a few people whom i really dig (pun intended).

and yesterday, an old high school friend, james, came by w/ his wife and two kids to hang out w/ immobile me ;) although they live in the memphis area, they try to come out to denver to visit every year or so. we ordered delivery from this restaurant. it's just down the street...great prices...super quick delivery...and pretty decent food.

ugh...i think i'm gonna hafta cut this posting a little short. my tailbone has been killing me from all the company. you know how you try to stick it out and change positions...even if you should be back in bed, elevating and icing...and quietly letting the brain turn into mush in front of the tv.

i was thrilled to have the company of great people...i just wish it were in different circumstances ;)

happy 4th!

Lady Godiva

...was a freedom rider
She didn't care if the whole world looked.
Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her
She was a sister who really cooked.

Isadora was the first bra burner
And you're glad she showed up. (Oh yeah)
And when the country was falling apart
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

what am i watching on netflixx now?

yep...good ol' maude. and just as any good norman lear-produced '70s sitcom (e.g., all in the family, good times, one day at a time, sanford and son, and mary hartman, mary hartman), the issues tackled on this series were pretty controversial in content for comedy serials back then. whether it was race, women's rights, politics, or the general mental makeup of our changing society, the abovementioned shows were pioneers in addressing things that were previously considered taboo in american television.

and maude findlay was a wise-cracking, fiercely independent feminist (and activist) who often made heckling men cower. even as a kid, i was fascinated by her caustic one-liners. plus, ya gotta love those early '70s outfits ;)

wow...

this movie just came in from netflixx...talk about a thrill ride!



i don't like nascar/daytona/indy500 racing...but i've always liked top fuel dragster (guess i only have a 5 second attention span).

anyway, this documentary is one of the finest i've ever seen. it's about the baja 1000, a wild road race from Ensenada (MX) to La Paz (MX). this 1000 mile torture fest is undertaken by something like 27 classes of vehicles (from motorcycles to trophy trucks to dune buggies to non-modified pre-1982 volkswagen beetles). usually, teams are comprised of 2-4 riders/drivers...but there's one rider, mouse mccoy, who opts to ride the entire race by himself on his supercross bike...talk about sheer madness!

i know some people will surely bring up the fact that the tourdefrance is usually more than twice the baja 1000's distance...but those guys get three weeks to do it on their expensive bikes. the entrants to this race are allowed...a measly 32 hours to finish!


you know, even if you're not a motocross/off-roading fan (which i'm not), this is still a very worthwhile documentary. the filmmakers used 55 cameras and multiple helicopters to shoot 250 hours worth of footage. in condensing it, they worked 18-20 hour days for six months straight to get it whittled down to its 97-minute incarnation. maybe one of these days, i'll get to witness this spectacle. don't worry, j, we'll go to the tour too...even if it takes us 10+ years, we're gonna go!

just a...

short post. i'm a half hour behind for my painkiller dosage. although the pain has greatly diminished over the past two days, it still hurts on both ankle sides. the sharp pain is still enough to keep me in bed for 18-20 hours a day.

well, meester vicodin is no longer my best friend. after three doses in twelve hours, with not enough food, i figured it would be better to just go the route of omitting any narcotics from my system; i just can't process it quickly enough.

and after barfing up extremely acrid tea and strawberry banana yogurt, i vowed to stick to just maximum dosages of acetaminophen or ibuprofen. who cares if i can't sleep...i just can't handle the nausea/listlessness/out of control. and for someone who has slept through two small earthquakes in peru, sleep is rarely a problem for me ;)

hope your weekend starts off well!

btw...

here's my orthopedic surgeon. all i can say is that he's a god :) soooo...if any of you out there need a top notch ortho specialist, you should consider the orthopedic associates...and yes, this is a plug. they're going to perform a left knee replacement for lois on the 2nd of august...which is about the time i may be able to start putting weight on the left leg. we are going to be such a housebound mess ;)

major...

killer throb invading the leg right now. after having it propped on two blankets and two pillows throughout the night, i made the grave mistake of actually trying to stand while i urinated. blood? circulation? lest i forget...

more like pull out all yer hair and beat forehead on sink...it so fucking kills!!!

of course, in my pic posting delirium, i was looking for an empty pee jug online. instead, i came across this bizarre site. pics of bodily fluids and feces would easily change my blog rating to 'R' dontchathink?

while i'm pondering the procedures necessary to make my blog an 'adults only', i am convinced the heavy doses of norco (which i have discontinued using) have finally been flushed through my system. it's time for meester vico to do his thing.

i was in such a haze yesterday. all day, there seemed to be a massive heartburn pit located right below the sternum. the double doses of narcotics were definitely blocking hunger pangs. it was so surreal to take a swallow of water and have it splash into a nearly empty stomach; you know you should eat but can't get yourself to do it. i was so listless...



until the metal plate started throbbing some. it was as if my body were trying to reject it, like an incompatible transplanted organ. you know, i don't get how people like to joke about taking painkillers, making the experience so euphoric. i just become a really hungry, grouchy fuck...who blogs way more than usual. i guess that's one side effect she wishes i had all the time