been away...

sorry 'bout that. on the 19th, there was a family crisis, which still persists.

dad had his third stroke...and it wasn't pretty. this time, the blood collected deep in his brain, affecting his motor skills. the pressure of the swelling would have been worse had he not been an old man. seems that, due to his advanced age, his smaller brain (don't forget that your brain stops producing cells at the age of 18) was able to accomodate the blood without needing to be drained. thank god because a younger man would have required a drilled hole in the skull to alleviate the swelling.

initially, it looked pretty bleak. the neurologist at Rose delivered a grim prognosis, leaving us a hair width from planning a funeral. just a wee bit scary. there were MANY tears.

miraculously, dad has been a trooper. his blood pressure has steadily decreased over the past six days and he has been able to beat some congestive heart failure nearly brought on by pneumonia. unfortunately, all this crap has left his right side extremely weak and unable to speak. he also hasn't had any solid food for nearly a week and liquid-less for two days. this is definitely a trying time for the entire family. i've been spending between 6-10 hours at the hospital since day one.

surprisingly, dad should be released to a rehab center on tuesday or wednesday. during his waking moments, he's still very aware and manages a couple smiles that he's saved up. in fact, he had a big ol' grin for lois a couple days ago...that was promising.

the past week has strengthened me quite a bit. on tuesday, i was a babbling mess...breaking down on a few occasions. while dad's improvement has steeled me some, i have readied myself for almost anything. the ultimate result is always going to be out of my hands. if it's time for him to go, then so be it. i've watched him hang on and wonder if i could stage a comeback if i were in his place. when it comes down to it, it's all about quality of life.

i'll be able to accept his departure when the time comes; i just want him to go on his terms and in peace. yet, it looks like he's ready for another round.

i got yer back dad...up and at 'em!