10.13.2006

so tuckin' fired i tell ya...

dad was buried on the 11th. the mortuary chapel at fairmount was jam packed. it was really touching to stand at the podium and see so many people. i'm estimating that there were somewhere between 170-180 people in attendance...mostly chinese (probably 90%)...some who had known dad for well over 60 years. in fact, dad's old doubles tennis partner, bill chin, even attended! they terrorized denver's courts in the late 30's!!!

you couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. the weather, which was originally supposed to be kinda rainy and windy, was instead sunny and slightly breezy. there were no foul ups regarding the ceremony nor the burial.

the ceremony was presided over by a chinese pastor who has known my parents for a decade or so. he's from hong kong and speaks english fairly well. while his eulogy was a bit heavy on the religious rhetoric, he segued seamlessly from english to cantonese and back to english; a spectacle of translating fury.

my brother's choir, the musicians of st. clare, also performed some songs. now, that was simply awesome! this group sprouted from the world youth day choir that performed for the Pope in Denver, in the summer of 1993. it's a group of 30-35 musicians with PHENOMENAL voices. they've toured europe on four or five occasions and even sang at the Vatican during xmas - twice! to hear their soaring voices at the beginning of the ceremony brought many a tear in the pews.

there was a truly silly moment during the funeral though. at the beginning of 'Amazing Grace', we expected st. clare's choir director, carma, to play the piano. however, the pastor played instead.

big mistake.

after the first, third, and fifth verses, he'd throw in a few extra notes...like he was playing in a ragtime band. i was standing next to my sister-in-law, Dawn, when he tossed in the freebies. and every time, we nearly cracked up, it was SO funny. i'm quite proud that we didn't lose our composure in a lake of guffaws...

i think dad probably frowned the first time but was rolling his eyes by the fifth verse ;)

the service ran a bit long though. none of it was due to the sermon nor the choir, but to the mass of attendees who came to pay respect to my father. you see, not only does everyone view the body and pass through the relatives line, but most individuals bow once, if not three times, after viewing the body. i'm figuring there were 300-390 bows even before we followed the hearse to the plot, where another ceremony was going to be held.

Honor Guard...and Taps (of course).

if you don't recall, my father was a World War II veteran. he was a radio man in the signal corps in the European Theatre. in fact, Dad landed on Normandy Beach two months after D-Day. whenever he'd talk about arriving, he'd just say there were still bodies from June...and that's all. he rarely recounted battle stories. if you'd like to read a couple of Dad's stories, check out this post from my old blog in february 2004. some of you may be familiar with the story, but if you're not...go already ;)

prior to this month, i found out a couple things about dad that were mind blowing. one story involved some fate and how much of dad's life was perhaps ruled by it.

during the first week of dad's hospitalization (late Sept.), mom recounted a story about how dad had POW guard duty. apparently, he had been watching the German prisoner for some time and was nearing the end of the guard shift when his bladder took over. well, while dad was peeing away, his relief had been shot dead by the prisoner, who had somehow recovered a hidden gun during the changeover. i'm not sure of all the details though. either it's fateful that dad had to pee or perhaps his relieving guard did something careless, which enabled the POW to pull the gun. maybe both. who knows.

the second thing that NO ONE was aware of was this:

what is it, you ask? it's a bronze star, the fourth highest medal you can receive in battle. in fact, it's higher than a purple heart, which is awarded if you're injured or killed in war. in reality, the purple heart is not that special of an award.

now, bronze stars, silver stars, distinguished service medals/crosses, and medals of honor are all higher awards than the purple heart. these are all awarded due to acts of valor (like being under fire/imminent danger).

my dad was awarded four bronze stars during his year of duty in World War II. none of us knew this until mom, my brother, Stan, and i retrieved his discharge papers from a safety deposit box, right before the funeral.

hmmm...who knew that my dad, one of the quietest people ever, was a war hero? never any swagger nor bravado. i can only strive to be as humble as he (was) during the course of his life.

note: i've been working on this post for ten days now...but never finishing it

wow...just got a letter in the mail today notifying me that dad had some veteran's life insurance. apparently, dad had taken out the policy in 1951! it's no windfall but it'll help my mom some. with his passing, she'll receive his social security checks, but lose hers; she's looking at 25% less money per month.

also found out that mom is entitled to $600 from the Department of Veteran Affairs, to offset some of the funeral/burial plot cost...which we kids actually split. besides, that's only about 4% of what it ended up costing. scary, huh? i can't believe that a nice burial can easily run into the tens of thousands. hardly affordable for much of the population. it's a good thing there were seven of us to split the cost...sheesh.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It sounds like a lovely service. How are you holding up? Hows your mom?

cb said...

I loved the personal info about your dad-- I can imagine it took some time to finish the post. Thanks for sharing the details-- and the photos.